by Emily

Five seconds later, same guy:

A girl walks past in a camouflage shirt and he practically yells, “Aw, look at that! That’s every redneck’s dream right there!”

Then he proceeds to tell a charming story about a girl he saw in the gym. The exchange occurs between him and a freshman boy:
1: “I saw this girl at the gym yesterday who was…(indeterminate “yum” sound).”
2: “Like a workout babe?”
1: “Oh yeah. She looked great in the gym and she looked great out of the gym. She was wearing cowboy boots when she left, and she got in a blue pickup truck.”
Blah, blah, blah.
1: “Yeah, so I made a pass at her while we were driving away from the gym and she smiled.”
2: “Dude, you should have gotten out of your car and just jumped into her truck.”
Me: “What? No! That’s so creepy. Her smile wasn’t an invitation for you to get into her car.”
2: “That wouldn’t be creepy! She smiled. That means it’s okay!”